JOURNAL/VENTING

for the most part I am a very trusting person I try my best not to judge other people. Because I have a kind heart I tend to get taken advantage of. though normally I don't say anything unless I have to. Today I went to pay my share of the rent. with one of my roommates. Now mind you we have a very nice landlord, and she tolerates a lot. I have been under the impression from someone that I have known for three years that never lied to me. Only to find out that now I am very close to loosing my apartment do to the person who I have stuck up for (not to mention stood by) has been lying about paying his share of rent. Now because of my soft heart I decided to let him stay so we was not going to live out on the street. He has been buttering me up and lying to my face. and I am sick of it. I want to just run him out of the apartment but then I'll feel guilty so instead I have to become an A-hole and chew him out. I'm hoping it will not get physical but on the other hand part of me kind of hopes he gives me the excuse to defend myself. I am a brutally honest person and as they say when you corner anything they tend to bite. I'm going to be cornering him so I have no idea how he is going to react. he just I feel like I'm a cow of all things and he is just milking me for all I'm worth and I'm through with it. I will make him listen whether he wants to or not.

I hate doing this sort of thing So why do people not understand that what someone does affects others around them? It befuddles me to know end. I know for a fact there are always people worse off then you. I understand that things come up some times and have a lot of tolerance and patients. I hate having to numb myself to people as well as other things though it almost seems like that as sad as it it's what I need to do. I guess what i'll do is confront him when I am calmer....maybe tomorrow. Tonight I'm just going to ask him if there is anything that he wants to tell me I will try talking normally and calmly before I do anything rash. I tend to do....things when I get to riled up (not suicide mind you but my energy tends to lash out at people)

Just someone answer me this. Is Honestly really asking that much?