How important is it for you to have a relationship (dating or more serious) with someone "neopagan" or "wiccan" etc?

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Permalink Reply by scott on February 17, 2009 at 8:23pm

merry meet everyone..i have to say that i saw this a couple days ago and i had to give it some thought before i replied.
i have been a pagan for 15 yrs now and have never dated a pagan woman,it's hard to find someone that you can share all of who you are with,so i have mainly dated non-pagan women. i have had my heart broken a few times over the years and the main reason was my religion. i have to say looking back it made me realize that i want a pagan wife,someone that i can share the pagan holidays and my beliefs with. i would love to be able to dance around the fire with my wife by my side.now as far as love spells go i have not used one to find love,i know with in the depths of my heart and soul that my soul mate is out there somewhere and that i will find her or that she will find me,after all it is our destiny to be together.
the 2 most important things in my life are my family and my religion i love being a pagan its who i am and who i have always been,and to me being able to share that with a pagan wife someday would be a wonderful blessing so i have to say yes having a relationship with a pagan woman is important to me,but i will also say for those of you who have been able to find love with someone that is not of our religion you are truly blessed..well thats all i have to say for now..blessed be everyone.

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Permalink Reply by Gawaine Caldwater Ross on February 18, 2009 at 2:27pm

Dating a wiccan or a pagan (neo or not) would be ideal.I've dated with them in the past, but that stopped 25 years ago. In Boston there simply weren't many pagans around - this was long before I knew how to use a computer.
Anyway, I lived with an agnostic who was fairly tolerant about solitary rituals, but she sure didn't want me hanging out with pagan friends (much less wiccans) because she felt threatened. We were incompatible in other ways as well and separated amicably after 8 years.In '94 just prior to joining AA I did a love spell for myself. A woman at AA found me very intriguing and she was impressed with wicca. In about 3 months she left her husband and asked me to come live with her. So I did, and all was erotic bliss until the paranoia and strangeness set in. She came with me to the local pagan group in Marlboro (the New Moon) but more to keep an eye on me than to enjoy herself. She found everyone much too promiscuous and was disturbed by the drug use (they were a fairly sober bunch, actually, but they weren't in AA). I was convinced that she was an AA fanatic when she made a huge objection to me inhaling helium at a Samhain party.She wanted me to go to AA meetings everyday, but I was working more than full time and trying to write a book about Aphrodit e in my spare time. The relationship was a disaster.
Since then the New Moon left town and I found a fledgling pagan group at our local UU church. Pretty soon we were observing lots of holidays and then two key members left and it all fell apart. A new one is reforming. This was all over a period of 12 years during which I have been painfully single. I'm in love with 3 women at the UU church, but they are all unavailable. I belong to every internet dating site there is and most get come ons from scam artists and amateur porn stars who want me to buy access to their web cam.
For a worshiper of Aphrodite, this has been very hard.

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Permalink Reply by Sehkmet kalikalmata on February 19, 2009 at 7:04am

Its important that the person is open minded, band that in itsself is enough, someone that takes part in the religion is a bonus, but is it neccisery, I don't think so.

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Permalink Reply by watertiger on February 20, 2009 at 11:59am

I agree with you Donna, I also do not need validation of my path from anyone. What is needed is respect for others beliefs, that in my opinion is very important. A good example would be my current relationship, I am Agnostic and she is Atheist. She has done spell work before we got together, but none that I know of since then. And that is her business whether she dose or not, she is Solitary and I respect that. I personally do not do any traditional spell work, mostly just energy work and mental projection. We have been together for 3 years now and have had many good discussions about our beliefs, although our paths may be a little different it has never been a problem for us, the key here is respect for each others beliefs.
That being said, I personally can not see myself ever dating or being in a committed relationship with a Christian ever again. There is just too much intolerance for anyone who is outside of their faith. While I do have Christian friends I just think there would be too much friction for a healthy personal relationship.

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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth A. Golden on February 19, 2009 at 5:21pm

Well my husband doesn't believe in anything but his family and friends and the stuff that he sees with his own eyes. So it's alot easier than being with a christian. He is not against what I believe and I am not against what he believes. MY EX now threw a fit all the time about it. I couldnt deal with that. So I wouldnt say its important to me to be with someone that was pagan. Just someone that can except me for who I am and what I believe in. My mother is a whole different story though always trying to convert me and get me to go to church. And wanting my kids to go to church. But of course I let them go because I want them to know aspects of all different religions so that when they get older they can choose themselves. I would never force my kids to do something that they dont want to do, but neither will anyone else.

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Permalink Reply by NoExcuses on February 19, 2009 at 7:59pm

my path is very importent to me but its my path my lover dosent have to follow the same path but must be open and understanting of my spiritual beliefs. i have just started dating this amazing girl about a mounth ago and so far she has shown intrest in my craft and had already been into cltic spiritualality so things are going vary well. as for the use of magik anyone who uses magik to get a maet is lieing to them selfs and there love, let them make up there own mind wether they like you or not DONT BEND THAIR WILL.

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Permalink Reply by Monroe on February 20, 2009 at 3:29am

I only think it's important for two people to have an understanding of chosen paths;not so much as important for two people to share the same beliefs,as long as one can respect it

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Permalink Reply by Mr. Seth on February 20, 2009 at 9:52am

Generally speaking, I treat religion the same way I treat politics; you don't have to see things exactly as I do, but if you intend on spending any significant amount of time with me you'd better be prepared to hear about both quite often. While it would be wrong to call me a full Satanist, I do respect the Satanic ideal of eternal opposition and so I take it upon myself to challenge every belief I stumble across. To me, NOTHING is too sacred or holy to demean, and so the closed-minded, stubborn, and emotionally fragile among us may find everything about me to be offensive. I don't do this to belittle people or inflate my ego; rather, I do this to build confidence and conviction in those closest to me (and I expect them to do the same for me).
Now to the questions;

1. How important is it for you to have a relationship (dating or more serious) with someone "neopagan" or "wiccan" etc?
Not very, but I don't think I could ever date a Christian. A good percentage of them are too deluded and god-fearing to truly understand someone like me.

2. Has it benefitted you to date someone "outside the circle" or the opposite?
I once slept with a conservative Christian. After spending a week with me she ran off and joined the army, so I guess said fling didn't really benefit anyone.

3. What problems did you experience? What did you learn, good or bad?
One night she got drunk and puked all over my comic book collection, despite the nearby proximity of the bathroom. She also came over my house uninvited every day for a week, laughed hysterically when I described my religion as being "something like the Force from Star Wars", got jealous of my female friends, and constantly debated the greatness of George Bush.
I learned that I should probably have more than one conversation with someone before I sleep with them. I also learned that just because someone has "Be True to Thine Own Self" tattooed across their chest, it doesn't mean they're at all open-minded.

4. Have you ever used love spells or magik to get the relationship? Or to improve or change the relationship? What or how?
Nope. Not my style.

5. How does magik fit into the relationship?
Sex.

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Permalink Reply by Theressa on February 21, 2009 at 9:44am

As for myself I think it is very important to have a relationship with someone who is open minded.Whether neopagan or not., honesty is most important.Someone with an open mind is more accepting of the neopagan way. My fiance was told about my beliefs very early in our relationship; it was a hard decision to make about telling him; but I figured if I'm to have a truly bueatiful relationship with this man; he has to know!!! My ex-husband knew and he ridiculed me and made fun of my beliefs..He never understood until he made me mad and I drew stregnth from my ancestors and kicked his butt....To be true to yourself you need to be honest with your partner,; and if they accept you for you then the God's and Godesse's are happpy and will smile upon you..EVERYIBE MUST WALK A PATH THAT IS RIGHT FOR THEAM AND NOT FOR SOMEONE ELSE...MY BILLY NOW LEARNS WITH ME AND SEES THINGS DIFFERENTLY NOW THAN EVER BEFORE...BLESSED BE....

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Permalink Reply by Dragons Warlock on February 22, 2009 at 2:37pm

Greetings RebeccaH. It is very important to be with someone who understands what I am. How hard is it to explain to someone not of the Craft just what it is you are doing outside at night naked in front of a witch's fire? Or when you are conjuring a spirit just What is it you are saying? Or when you are in the middle of a spell and they walk in and ask What are those herbs and disgusting things floating in the bottles for? Yes it is very important to have someone who is familiar with what I am so as not to attract attention to what I am doing rather than helping me when I need it. But, as far as just casual and playful sex goes, well we both like to play with whatever we can find that knows nothing of our ways. They don't need to know what we are doing except having fun with them. Besides we keep them busy enough that they don't have time or mind to ask what is with us! HA! Anyway hope this answers your question. As Always May Darkness be with you always. Blessed BE. DW

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Permalink Reply by penelope on February 22, 2009 at 10:52pm

frankly, it doesn't matter whether he's a pagan or not.. it's the totality of the person that matters most to me.. but he must be good looking too... lol...

i've been tempted to do poppet magick once, due to curiosity, i did it intentionally (and simultaneously ) for three persons that i have had crush with.. it worked for the two after a lunar cycle.... as for the last person..., it may still be "in the process"... Im actually not bothered at all thinking about it, in order not to fizzle my spell...

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Permalink Reply by JestersProdigy on February 25, 2009 at 2:14pm

Personaly its not important that the one Im in a relationship with be a "neo-pagan" or "wiccan", not to say that it doesnt save from a lot of explanations but its the person inside that realy matters. It doesnt matter weather your a wiccan dateing a catholic of a satanist dating a baptist, what matters is that you both keep an open mind and respect each others chosen path. I was dateing a sothern baptist girl once and the second she found out that I was wiccan she and her family black balled me as the deamon seed of satan; shortly after I was dateing a methodist girl and her and her family still loved me after they found out my chosen religon. I have never used magik to lure in a woman I had a crush on and never will, Ive used magik to help a relationship but neve to start one. I honestly dont know what I did to strengthen the few relationships Ive used magik on, the words and procedures just came to me and I did them as if I had been doing it for ever, and it worked. Magik has to fit into any relationship I am in because this is what I do and this is what I am, if you cant give me the respect to let me do my thing than its gonna be a rocky, dead end road. And not all magik is bad or has to be done by yourself, there are lots of fun ways that I found to share the magik and present if in a non threatening manner to more than a few of the women I have known in my life both friend and serious.

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