update and comming out

as the title says so far I have been getting a lot taken care of. I now have a new student and at the moment I am facing my past as well. until that happens and finalizes I don't think I will ever be able to truly love someone at all. right now I feel very shallow....mostly because I feel that the part of my past I am struggling to face. She went well part of hat she went by screen name was Ebonyflame though the rest I had forgotten. I don't blame Ebony, though, mostly I blame myself. Because of this fact I find it hard to be in any true stable relationship....I won't go into much detail about it, but...that's what I'm dealing with.....expect a lot of poetry coming from me. I think the worst part is I have pushed away good people because I was scared and in a way. I ran, and yes I do admit this.

,I'm Not perfect no one or anything is. I have my faults as does anyone else. If people wish to not have me around then that's fine I would rather they said it to me by there own faces or at least in person as much as possible. Again I act strong because I AM NOT PERFECT AND I SEEK TO TRY AND BETTER MYSELF. I do not need a relationship to define me. I have met many amazing people in my life and I am great full to all that I have met and encountered. I follow in Hecate's footsteps, and have for a long time and I will continue even though my path is not an easy one. I feel a stronger and stronger pull to Hecate.

I am one of those people who try and help those the best I can. If anyone can show me someone who is perfect with no flaws then i will happily commit sepku to try and gain back some honor. I am used to being a stone for others never letting others to get to know me all that well. Through this site I have changed though. I'm finally starting to let others get to know me...what I feel is the real me and feel excepted. I am great full to all of those I have met through here and have been considered as friends. No matter the memory good or bad I will never fully forget them ever. This is my path when someone is at a crossroad I help them as best as I can. I am empathic and a pretty Damn good one at that. It's funny I'm one of those people who tends to find a positive thing in all the negatives. I have wanted in the past so badly to have someone in my life yet I found ways to make some of them hate me feeling they would be better off. Some times even I wonder if maybe, just maybe, things would be better off if I didn't follow this path...the same one Hecate has and still follows.
Though Like Hecate I will follow suit in stride, and will continue to help as much as I can. I will learn to except the consequences that come with the territory

the reason I chose Shadow as my magical name is very simple for it indeed suits me as well as my path. I wish to explain this here and now for I am proud.

I go by Shadow for everyone has one and no one can eve truly forget there shadow it is always there and around for you wether you wish it to be or not. like a shadow I am the same some people hate/dislike me others love me. I am hard for people to forget and am very gentle; as much as I can be. The only difference between a shadow and myself is that if you truly wish me gone and tell me so unlike a shadow; then I will be gone, and I won't go back. In another way I feel I am some what Hecate's shadow for I follow closely to her path.

I am a weather shaman,Buddhist monk, elementalsit, wiccan/pagan, and I am a Christian. Hecate is my Patron Goddess as well as who I consider My mother for she has been more a mother to me then any other even my own biological mother.

Hate me if you like or don't hate me That choice is yours I will not fault you for either one. I am who I am and I am proud that I have been to help may people in my life. Though it hurts a lot at times I listen and act to help as best as I can just as Hecate does for those who seek her. I am proud and honored to be a stone and to be able to help so many. I am proud that i have such a kind heart, and can look past others when they use and take advantage of me for I know that they are hurting more then I can and will ever possibly know. This is my penance! This is my truth, and this is my path. The path of a wanderer! I thank all of you who took the time to read this, and though I don't expect many responces to this....Respond to this if you like