The Masculine and Feminine Gay factor

The Masculine and Feminine Gay factor

There are some Masculine gay men that are attracted to Masculine or Feminine Gay men. There are some Feminine Gay men that are attracted to both Feminine or Masculine Gay men. This is the usual with varying degrees of the feminine and masculine polarity. I have been with feminine men and masculine men. Though I tend to be attracted to masculine gay man I cannot disregard the likely hood of my falling for a fem.

I share this with you the reader because I have been noticing that more and more gay men are classifying themselves as “straight Acting” or “Straight “ when let’s just keep it real if you having sex with a man repeatedly? It’s because you like dick and you’re gay. Hey, it’s not a bad word!! I’m gay! I just don’t have to run around like a chicken with my head cut off hiding it.

The media corralling the masses as it normally does when it deals with socioeconomic issues, defined gays in three different socially acceptable genres: 1) The Flamboyant Drag Queen gay. Boy is he fun at parties! But better left in the closet until you have one. The true image behind the stereotype the Media commercialization machine turned out? The effeminate gay male. The effeminate gay male, is emotional, caring, kind, strong, sacrificing and above all ultimately forgiving. Even when they should cut your balls off and hand them to you. They are usually the ones that won’t and take you back even if you don’t deserve it. Because of their femininity they engender the divine mother, sister, friend and for the right guy wife and lover. The other stereotype sanctioned by the media is: The bitch gay. This homophobic social created archetype is what lingers in the mind of most backwater straight homophobes and even in closet homophobes. It’s the gay that gossips, cockblocks, hits on straight men, thinks everybody’s just a little gay all the time and thinks he is the one to prove it. He is the one bragging about his fashion sense, how popular he is, how many lovers he’s had and how many he can have. This gay is the type to put down any and everybody he feels is a threat to his social standing. Though this type of gay person exists, this is NOT an exclusively gay trait and is an insult to the GLBT community. The other stereotype getting air time doing the GLBT injustice is 3) “The straight acting” gay man. He’s the one that goes to the gym and hangs out with the boys, checking out girls, clubbing with the guys, hell he might even sleep with a girl or two but at the end of the day or night he wants a man. This is socically acceptable because to be gay in the straight world mentality, is to be lonely, confused and riddled with self loathing. In reality however, this type of homosexual lives in constant fear of being discovered. This type of gay hates himself and struggles to have his life as straight as possible to blend in and not be defined by his sexual orientation to such a degree where he cannot acknowledge it in public or to fully accept it within himself for fear of being seen as weak by society, family and friends. This is the reality of it and we should never forget that stereotypes are but a parody of our true selves. A caricature and they are often mean as fuck.

One can argue that stereotypes are everywhere and I would have to agree, they are. But when you allow them to define you, corral you in to a classification its wrong. I refuse to be cattle prodded, packaged and labeled. I am not cattle. I am a fucking person. I worked hard to be proud of being who I am. I used to tell myself “I refuse to be defined by my sexuality! I’d rather be defined by my personality!” SOunds good right!? But the problem is I had it all twisted. My homosexuality has a direct bearing on who I am, what I have been through, what I survived, what I suffered for, fought for and what I am still fighting for. Saying and acknowledging that I am gay or part of the GLBT community doesn’t bring to light my homosexuality nor does my accepting myself as a gay man endorse homosexuality. It merely reflects that I accept every facet of my being. I see a lot of gay men hating on feminine gay men. The reason for this I’ve heard it said, is that the whole point of being gay is that men are attracted to men. This reasoning is ignorant to the point of being pitiful. As multi faceted as man is it should be expected that some men would develop feminine traits, mannerisms and presence. Likewise with women born with innate or natural masculine qualities. Does this make them weak? Or does it invoke old patterns of thought where in the heterosexual archetypes Straight albeit; misogynic men have long thought women as the weaker sex. Just for being feminine. Yeah. Weird I know. This is what crosses my mind when I hear a “straight acting” gay male telling someone near me he doesn’t like feminine men. I smile. Even with my recessive masculinity I could bring many straight acting mutha fuckas down to they fucking knees. But I respond by acting like I don’t hear the comment again thinking to myself, if knowledge is freedom then that shade of a man must be in chains.

Oh by the way I am Mexican, African American, Spanish, Native American, Irish, feminine, Gay as the mutha fuckin' sun is the brightest and nearest star to earth and a Drag Queen.... and proud of it.