THE BUM

This Poem is for my Father who passed away about 4 years ago or so. Though I knew him and still remember his face, his voice and his smile and the inflections behind his words. He was never really there. Odd thing is after my my moms divorced him he became more and more unstable and after a couple of romances and years he became homeless. He tried to get it together but the Streets of L.A. and being homeless for 13 years took it's toll. He died on the streets. With no one to claim his body. Penniless and alone. Now? I work with the homeless. This is for my papa. I forgive you now.


The Bum…

Excuse me sir but can you spare a quarter? It's been like two days since I had a drink of fresh water. I Know I ought'a, go to a shelter but they gotta, waiting list, they filled to capacity and I usually end up giving my place up to Women and they Daughters.

I know you probably, think I'm a lazy ass. I mean you gotta be, crazy as hell to wind up like me, right? I mean honestly, But I didn't choose to be, where I am, I remember I refused to be, the one asking for help, even though now I am, though people see me less than I am, I know I'm still the man I used to be.

Who would choose this? Some think I chose this? Don't make me laugh, rocking rags, smelling like last month's trash, got fools beating my ass for cash that I don't even have, getting raped or stabbed Y'all don't even know the half.

So yeah, I get drunk every night under the street light, ready to start a fight put me in a cop car tonight so I can sleep tight. 3 meals a day, clean clothes and a place to stay, some say, hell is a jail cell but being homeless is hell in the worst way.

I tried to apply for a job, but was told I'm a slob and got thrown out on the road, even if I used your quarter for some clean clothes or to wash my clothes, they'd be dirty tomorrow and I'd still be asking for a quarter to barrow, no matter how far I walk I'm always on skid row.

Sometimes I catch myself trippen', talking to myself and answering myself, and I know that my mind is slippen', forgetting faces names, family and places, damn the games, life plays when you drifting farther and farther away as your reality keeps shifting farther and farther away.

I know I shouldn't give a damn, logically, but being judged for the failure I feel I am, is messing me up psychologically. Can only talk to people in small doses, I've dealt with so many social workers I got a Ph.D. in Sociology through osmosis. There's more homeless than honest people and everybody knows this.

Hospitals don't want to see me Dude, it's like they already know, I have no HMO, PPO and no other possible way my medical bills get paid fo'. So out the door, in to the night is were they send me so, I get a free ambulance ride right back to die on skid row.

Oh, no it's all right. See It must be my fault, that Hot or cold I sleep on the asphault, developing infantago, eyes blood shot looking like a mad dog. Neglected, disrespected, avoided like a bad dog.

Do I have right to health and wealth? Can I live within in four walls with roof like everybody else? I'm willing to work and do what I can for myself or do I die in the gutter or in a dumpster like filth?


I know some of ya'll really ain't try'n to hear me. Even though you looking at me, you can't see me clearly. You fear me, because you need to put some mental and physical distance between yourself and myself, so you ain't no were near me.

No disrespect, don't want to conject, Just inflect and project the truth, that the difference between a homeless person and you, is a paycheck.

But hey it's cool, sorry to bother you and yeah you right sooner or later you gotta do watch you gotta do. Even though I hate, the beaurocratic red tape and case managers using me for statistical data, still though, opportunities are there to take.

So I'll get in line and stay in line this time, accept any help I can get to stay clean and clear my mind cause I'm, tired of the film, grime and dream of a hot shower to wash off the street slime. It's time to design a positive future vision and fight for mine.

Get clean, get cleaned up, get clothes, get the job skills and get teamed up with people who are equals and who've kept up, even when it was dark and they fell, these are the people that stepped up.

Some people survive, stay a live or die by the wayside deep down ya'll know it's true, I ain't trying to be cruel, But this, you going to have to do, sooner or later you going have to figure out which one of these people are you.

I know you probably, think I'm a lazy ass. I mean you gotta be, crazy as hell to wind up like me, right? I mean honestly, But I didn't choose to be, where I am, I remember I refused to be, the one asking for help, even though now I am, though people see me less than I am, I know I'm still the man I used to be.