Panic Attacks

Panic attacks suck, quite frankly. I have been having them quite frequently lately. Some days are better than others but its the bad days that make me want to crack my head open and insert a new brain. It really hurts.... not knowing if the panic is from inside of yourself and is therefore not really a valid reason to panic or if there is a real reason that you should be panicking. Should you panic if you're at the grocery store and all of a sudden you can't find the exit (even though you have been to this store thousands of times before.)? Is it normal to panic when someone calls you on the phone? And this particular phone call is just someone asking if you are there and available to talk for about 5 minutes? To me, in my panicky state, it feels like the caller is stalking me. I get short of breath, my pulse races, my head pounds, and I can barely stand. Sometimes I even forget who the people that are around me are. One time, my mom tried to help me through a panic attack and I ended up curling up into the fetal position and screaming for the crazy lady to get away from me. I think I may have even hit her. I'm currently on medication for the attacks, but I'm in a bit of a financial bind and can't afford to refill the prescription, even at Wal-Mart. But sometimes I think that the medication doesn't really help. Lately I've been having them more frequently than ever. This blog is not meant to be commented on, it was meant for me to get my thoughts down and maybe even help some others that have them too. But if you have something that you want to add to this, by all means, be my guest.