LUCIFER'S APOLOGY...

Lucifer’s apology

Bane drips from myself inflicted wounds as tears of venom fall from my hate filled eyes. I don’t know who I hate more, you or myself for feeling as I do. Hell is but a paradigm of punishment and pain and therein I rule with an iron fist.

I hurt when I hurt you with razor sharp words that flee their prison deep within my rotted heart. I envy those that have their freedom to taste, such decadent bastards sired by virgins, eunuchs and Saint’s.

I carry burdens that cannot be undone, and within this prison I must stay with only spells to spin and speak but to no GOD I pray. To burn and writhe my only mission so even if I prayed who would dare listen?

My soul mangled and broken by what I have never had, drowning in savage rivers of blood and rage but I have never truly understood what it means to be sad. An empty heart has no tears to cry. A guilty heart just wants to die.

I feel your tears when you cry on the inside. because of me and they whip me and leave me bleeding and ripped apart with each one that falls. I can’t help but to hate you. I can’t help but to protect you from that hate. I can’t help but to hate myself and I can’t help but to live with it. This is my perfect palace in hell.

I loathe sacrificing my life for you. I loathe having to worry about you before myself. I vomit bile each time I convince myself it is because of you I have never found true unconditional love. I loathe myself most of all for feeling as I do. When I hate you I hate myself most of all.

So my razor tongue dipped in poisonous rank thoughts that I bury beneath the darkest depths of my being cuts deep in to those that are my willing sacrifice. This at times is the only solace that stills the screams of my selfish beast of an ego.

Would you believe me if I told you that I loved you and that I am proud to carry you? Would believe me if I told you that I do not see you as a burden? I know I accepted this and chose to make the sacrifices out of loyalty and love.

Would you believe me if I told you that I would do it all over again the same way? But this time…this time I would never condemn you or myself and I would be a better son than I am now. Would you believe me if Itold you I am sorry for all I have done, wrought, all the words that drew blood from your soul and made you weep?

Listen to the winds near the darkest grove, park or forest. Listen to the winds in the darkest of nights where the moon is nowhere to be found. You will hear Lucifer’s whispers. You will hear him weeping for all that he has done and can never take back.