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a pagan in hell- funny
A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before some pearly gates. St. Peter asks him, "May I help you?"
The Pagan asks, "Where am I?"
Peter says, "You're at the gates of heaven."
The Pagan says, "But I don't believe in heaven."
Peter frowns at him. "You're one of those Pagans, aren't you?"
"Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place; I'm supposed to go to Summerland."
Peter says, "Sorry. We took over Summerland, and it's temporarily closed for remodeling."
"What should I do now?"
Peter says, "Well, since we don't allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to hell. Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left."
The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water.
He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely. "Hello, I'm Satan. You must be the guy that St. Peter phoned me about. Are you a Pagan?"
"Yes, I am. What's going to happen now?"
Satan says, "Well, the fishing's pretty good, if you enjoy that sort of thing. There's a little refreshment stand down the road. And I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill."
Suddenly, a hole opens up in the sky above, and a yawning chasm opens directly underneath it. The stench of sulphur fills the air. Hundreds of screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming pit, which immediately closes up with a thud.
The Pagan, hardly believing what he just saw, asks Satan, "And what was THAT ???"
Satan rolls his eyes. "Oh, just ignore them. They're Christians; they wouldn't have it any other way."
*please note- if i offend anyone it was not my intention. i just thought it was really funny- expecially the christians taking over summerland and remodeling- priceless
The Pagan asks, "Where am I?"
Peter says, "You're at the gates of heaven."
The Pagan says, "But I don't believe in heaven."
Peter frowns at him. "You're one of those Pagans, aren't you?"
"Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place; I'm supposed to go to Summerland."
Peter says, "Sorry. We took over Summerland, and it's temporarily closed for remodeling."
"What should I do now?"
Peter says, "Well, since we don't allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to hell. Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left."
The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water.
He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely. "Hello, I'm Satan. You must be the guy that St. Peter phoned me about. Are you a Pagan?"
"Yes, I am. What's going to happen now?"
Satan says, "Well, the fishing's pretty good, if you enjoy that sort of thing. There's a little refreshment stand down the road. And I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill."
Suddenly, a hole opens up in the sky above, and a yawning chasm opens directly underneath it. The stench of sulphur fills the air. Hundreds of screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming pit, which immediately closes up with a thud.
The Pagan, hardly believing what he just saw, asks Satan, "And what was THAT ???"
Satan rolls his eyes. "Oh, just ignore them. They're Christians; they wouldn't have it any other way."
*please note- if i offend anyone it was not my intention. i just thought it was really funny- expecially the christians taking over summerland and remodeling- priceless
Comment
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Comment by Damien Fire Water on December 22, 2008 at 9:36pm
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E that's one opf the funniest jokes ive heard Alot of Lolz
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Comment by Cassandra on November 23, 2008 at 4:55pm
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That was truely funny. :o)
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Comment by Jade on November 23, 2008 at 1:22pm
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like i said, peaches i just thought this was funny, i am not trying to put them down, i have MANY christan friends. and yes, they have chosen there own path and thats there choice. but i still laughed my @ss off when i read it. cant help it! :P
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Comment by Peaches on November 23, 2008 at 12:43pm
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we shouldn't be putting down christians....
I mean, after all, they ARE the goddess's creations.
but yeah, they're probably gonna get in the after life xD
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Comment by Autumn on November 23, 2008 at 11:41am
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fantastically witty XD
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Comment by Anthony on November 23, 2008 at 9:46am
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Thats great i love it
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Comment by Wren Ravenheart on November 23, 2008 at 8:36am
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XD! Amazing! Oh wow...I'm going to have to send that to someone now >.>
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Comment by Avy on November 23, 2008 at 7:35am
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Oh my goddess that is GREAT!
Much Love
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Comment by )O( Mystik )O( on November 23, 2008 at 5:21am
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That was absolutely hilarious!!! Keep them coming!
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Comment by erthgoddss on November 22, 2008 at 9:38pm
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I can only speak for myself... If you keep posting jokes like that I will need a new monitor... I did a spit take all over it! ROFL
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