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10 ways to annoy a pagan
things pagans do not wish to hear....
10. Sayyyyyyy, is that a Jewish star?
9. No, then you must listen to Motley Crue, right? Not that, either? I know, it's a ... a ... Pentacost, right?
8. You guys really worship the devil, huh? Cool, I, like, listen to Black Sabbath, like, all the time, dude.
7. Oh, you're a Witch! I'm like, totally into, like, Goddess Consciousness. I sleep with a crystal every night, and have an Atlantean spirit guide. Will you teach me all the secrets of your religion?
6. I hear you Pagans do all your stuff in the nude. Wanna show me?
5. You will all burn in Hell. The Goddess is really Satan in drag. You don't believe in Satan? Boy, does he have you fooled!
4. Fascinating. I'm a sociologist; may I study you as a phenomena?
3. Do you really believe in all that nonsense?
2. You worship the Goddess? Poor thing; you obviously haven't heard about Jesus. Here, let me tell you...
And (drum roll, please):
1. You're a witch, huh? Well, I'm initated at a higher level than you. I was initated at the age of seven by my grandmother, who was the last of the Atlantean Trad Elvish Ninja Masters. I don't suppose YOU have any lineage.
*please note- if i offended anyone with this i applogize. i just thought it was laugh out loud funny.
10. Sayyyyyyy, is that a Jewish star?
9. No, then you must listen to Motley Crue, right? Not that, either? I know, it's a ... a ... Pentacost, right?
8. You guys really worship the devil, huh? Cool, I, like, listen to Black Sabbath, like, all the time, dude.
7. Oh, you're a Witch! I'm like, totally into, like, Goddess Consciousness. I sleep with a crystal every night, and have an Atlantean spirit guide. Will you teach me all the secrets of your religion?
6. I hear you Pagans do all your stuff in the nude. Wanna show me?
5. You will all burn in Hell. The Goddess is really Satan in drag. You don't believe in Satan? Boy, does he have you fooled!
4. Fascinating. I'm a sociologist; may I study you as a phenomena?
3. Do you really believe in all that nonsense?
2. You worship the Goddess? Poor thing; you obviously haven't heard about Jesus. Here, let me tell you...
And (drum roll, please):
1. You're a witch, huh? Well, I'm initated at a higher level than you. I was initated at the age of seven by my grandmother, who was the last of the Atlantean Trad Elvish Ninja Masters. I don't suppose YOU have any lineage.
*please note- if i offended anyone with this i applogize. i just thought it was laugh out loud funny.
Comment
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Comment by Sherman Wayne Tibbels on June 27, 2013 at 12:10pm
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I have to admitt Jade that was funny and you put a big smile on my face thank you.
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Comment by bratchild on June 28, 2011 at 9:45pm
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and number 10 is the reason I remain a solitary practitioner. but honestly, i laughed until i cried....
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Comment by Adrastea Solace on August 27, 2009 at 10:35pm
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so true lol
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Comment by Starphish on May 23, 2009 at 4:15pm
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lol! brings back bad memories... but looking back its funny. thanks for enlightening my day
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Comment by Roibeard Kyle Pulskap Lockhart on April 18, 2009 at 12:10pm
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yea...people are effin dumb.
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Comment by Stella on April 18, 2009 at 2:48am
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lol i like the band refrences that was soooo rofl haha.
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Comment by Lenore on April 13, 2009 at 6:41pm
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Atlantean Trad Elvish Ninja Masters best thing that i have EVER heard! lol
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Comment by Lexi on April 8, 2009 at 2:40pm
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Hahaha, yeah, I've heard most of those & wanna punch people for 'em.
But I'm usually just like, "Seriously, you're ignorant. go somewhere."
(:
This is funny.
(:
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Comment by goat on January 4, 2009 at 6:28am
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I hate how people try to push that Jesus freak shit on people. When are people going to realize that Jesus was just some dude that had a vision. I have visions all the time, and every once in a while I hear people talking to me that aren't there. If I was to go to a church, looking the way I do, I'd have the cops called on me and they would probably throw me in an insainasylum. That goes to show how self-centered Christians are!
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Comment by Earth's Outcast on December 23, 2008 at 1:54pm
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Lol. So true!!
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