Kodi Jimenez's Blog (16)

Kiss of pleasure

Mixed with pain

Silent horrors fill me eyes

Rhythmic drumming erase my sins

Inside my soul longs a need

Begging to be fulfilled

My heart aches for your touch

It fills me with desire

To live another day without you

Is to live in eternal Hell

A deep yearning rising from my core

My existence depends on you

Do you desire me

As much as I desire you?



Yup, here's another poem I penned while it was late at… Continue

You are my rising sun

You are what gets me through the day

You ease my fear and make life worth living

You make it possible for sleep to come



Without you I'm devoid of happiness

I see no point in going on

To find you sleeping soundly in my bed

Is to see contentment in my life



You are my guardian angel

You watch over my every move

You keep me safe at all times

You show me the true meaning of love



Without you I am… Continue

Panic attacks suck, quite frankly. I have been having them quite frequently lately. Some days are better than others but its the bad days that make me want to crack my head open and insert a new brain. It really hurts.... not knowing if the panic is from inside of yourself and is therefore not really a valid reason to panic or if there is a real reason that you should be panicking. Should you panic if you're at the grocery store and all of a sudden you can't find the exit (even though you have… Continue

To cascade in an ocean

And fall to an endless sea

Listen to the waves

Rolling at your feet



The air flowing through your body

Breezes course through your veins

Caressing the aches of yesterday

Taking away your pains



Heat rising from your center

Blazing in your eyes

Echoes from your lungs

Breathe deep the ash as others cry



Ground yourself in the earth

Dig farther than ever before

Revel in Mother… Continue

Lying in my bed at night

I wonder where my life is leading

I could only hope for love to find me

And show me without fearing



I sit up and stare at the walls

And see what no one else has

I see myself for who I am

Only one knows of my true brass



Standing up and walking out

Following my own shadow

I feel the kiss of another

My heart is no longer shallow



Driving to my destination

I focus only on her

Wanting to… Continue

Listen to your heart

It will light your way

All you need is love

To ease the pains away



It tells of a different time and place

Searches for the inner you

Your heart always calls your name

Listen as it calls to you



Follow the dreams you've had since childhood

They know you better than you know yourself

Hearken to their knowledge

Hear the breadth of knowledge you hold inside the self



Sometimes pain seems too… Continue

Listen to my breathing

Feel my heart beat in time with yours

I am forever under your spell

Together through eternity as one



Only when I hear your voice

Or see your lovely face

And feel your spirit with me

Am I completely at ease



Waking up to the sound of your voice

Calling my name through Sleep's haze

I wish for only you in my life

True happiness is borne of the love we share



Too much time has been lost

To spend… Continue

Fuzzy and intangible

Never should I feel like this

Lost in my own thoughts

Floating in oblivion

Transfer my pain

To another part of myself

Only when that pain subsides

Shall I feel lucid once again

Isolated for eternity

But it is by choice

It lessens my anxiety

But it builds back again

Too many times I've lost myself

Hoping for a rescue

I turn the tables

Become a hero

And fail in my endeavor

Listless once… Continue

Lay me down

Feed me temptation

Suppress my solidarity

Tear down my walls

Make me yours forever

Own me

Hold me

Slip into nothingness with me

Show me my future

Reality falls away

Seeing only your eyes

Control me

Command me

Make me obey

Manipulate me

Forever in your arms

I am yours



Writing this one was not difficult. Many times I have writer's block and can't seem to get the thoughts in my head on paper.… Continue

Let me be

Let me die

Let me bleed

Let me cry



Put my pain away

Tuck it into bed

Cozy in myself

Once again the slumbering Dead



Soul is searching

Finding

Waiting

To be touched like no other



Fill me with your dreams so that I may uncover

The secrets of your mind

Of your soul

Of your own prison you call life



Why not show me above all else

To me you are my heart

My life

My one true… Continue

Just yesterday I went to the grave of my ex-girlfriend who passed away not too long ago. It was the first time I had ever been there.... however, I knew exactly where to go and where the grave was. When I got there, hopping across her body.... were two frogs (her favorite animals.) And not too far from the grave was a turtle (one of my favorite animals.) So I put them together on top of her body and watched them. I had my ipod turned all the way up and the song When I Get Where I'm Going by… Continue

Burning bright

Such a light

For her, I fight

For love, I might



I lived my life in the dark

Many a night pass

Lying in the coldness of my mind

Dreaming of love such as hers



I have it now

It's all mine

This bright love of mine

She is beauty incarnate



Lying there in my bed

Crying myself to sleep

No longer do I dream

Of a love such as hers



She shows me love

She shows me hope

Swooping… Continue

I just heard some news today and it got me thinking. Of all the horrible things that could happen to me I found out that one of my great friends has cancer. Thyroid cancer too. And even though it was not anybody I was related to, it still got me thinking about how it does run in my family. I have to constantly think that all will be well and that everything happens for a reason. However, sometimes this theory is harder to take to heart when it comes to yourself. So many times I have had dreams… Continue

I have a wooded area across the street from my house where I go to perform my rituals. Lately I've been doing more than ever. My friends that live by me and also some of my friends here on this site have wanted me to help them. I have been going through a lot lately in my personal life and honestly when I perform a ritual it takes me to another place where all my fears and worries dissolve. So when I'm having personal problems I like to just go to the woods and meditate. Or just sit there and… Continue

I have inner strength. I know I do. If I know this then why do I rely so much on others to keep me afloat? Is it because of my past hurts? Is it because I don't want to assume responsibility for myself? Do I not want to be able to protect myself, or do I just not think I'm worthy of this inner strength, this inner beauty that I possess? If others take care of me, then I don't have to. It's not necessary for me to use that power that I have buried deep inside of me.



It's there, lying… Continue

It all started with a young girl at the age of 19. She had just filled out an application for employment at a local nursing home. She headed back home. The next day she got a call from her future employer. She got called in for an interview and she went to it, determined to gain the job that was being offered. When she walked in to the room where her potential new boss was seated. It was love at first sight. And the girl was not thinking of the love of her new job, which was basically just… Continue