Jade's Blog – November 2008 Archive (9)

Are you a pagan insomniac?



Here are some signs that you might be....



.... If you have ever added caffeine to a ritual...... *Double points if you have ever forgotten your precious caffeine and had to reopen your circle to get it- it is that important....



....... If you have ever fallen asleep during meditation...... Somewhere between the calming thoughts and steady breaths you start snoring...... * Double points if you dont light candles during meditation… Continue

could it be?? do we have our own candy?? Well, lets look at the evidence, shall we? The candy is round- representing the wheel of the year, or the earth herself. We pagans do love colors! And what candy has all kinds of colors that represents the important things. Red- fire, Green- earth, Blue- water, Yellow- air, Orange- sun god, Brown- copper goddess. Turn the m&m upside down- now its a w&w, wicca & witchcraft. With the different colors on the outside, and the same chocolatly… Continue

Your cauldron is so rusty, you always add more materials than is needed so you dont see the rust flakes.....



You cant even tell what design was on your altar cloth anymore, from all the wax and the ash..... (true story, seriously)



Your Athame is only being held together with duct tape and the will of the Horned God......



What was a chakra wand is now just an amethest wand......



Your candle holders have so much wax build up, you have to call on the the… Continue

Having been in the Pagan scene for many years, but being new to computers, I was fascinated when I saw a program that was called a "Spell Checker". My naive mind had visions of a program that would check the contents of the spells that I typed up. I imagined that it might make suggestions such as, "You've forgotten to specify the type of incense to be used", or..."You are supposed to use a green candle for money spells, not red!" I soon found, however, that it only checked the spelling of the… Continue

10 Ways to Piss off a Witch

(Author Unknown)



1. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.



2. Be considerate, rearrange their altar so it will look neat.



3. Blow out their altar candle if it is still day light. (No need to waste a good candle!)



4. Pick up their gems for a closer look.



5. Sharpen their dull black-handled knife.



6. Witness to them about the "true religion".



7. Untie the knots in their… Continue

God's Word?

Dr Laura Schlessinger, a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show, recently said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 , and

cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura, which was posted on the Internet



Dear Dr. Laura,



Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to… Continue

So, I'm standing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car load of well meaning, bible thumping nut cases that are just frantic! The middle aged professionally dressed woman rushes forward...She takes my arm and with trembling voices she asks...."Have you found Jesus?" Her eyes plead with an urgency that is out of proportion to a bus stop.



Now normally I just politely decline the sermon, and free religious paperwork that such folk pawn off on unsuspecting by-standers. But, unfortunately… Continue

A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before some pearly gates. St. Peter asks him, "May I help you?"



The Pagan asks, "Where am I?"



Peter says, "You're at the gates of heaven."



The Pagan says, "But I don't believe in heaven."



Peter frowns at him. "You're one of those Pagans, aren't you?"



"Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place; I'm supposed to go to Summerland."



Peter says, "Sorry. We took over… Continue

things pagans do not wish to hear....



10. Sayyyyyyy, is that a Jewish star?



9. No, then you must listen to Motley Crue, right? Not that, either? I know, it's a ... a ... Pentacost, right?



8. You guys really worship the devil, huh? Cool, I, like, listen to Black Sabbath, like, all the time, dude.



7. Oh, you're a Witch! I'm like, totally into, like, Goddess Consciousness. I sleep with a crystal every night, and have an Atlantean spirit guide. Will you… Continue