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Coming out....
My 19 year old nephew came out to me today. Which is exactly how old I was when I came out. He had written in his journal on New Years Day and sent me a link to it. He has not come out to anyone else in our family yet and of course is scared about doing so. My sister (his mom) is my best friend, and I hate knowing this without her knowing, but I would never out him, that is his place. And I certainly know how it was to be outed to my parents. So this just got me thinking. How many of you were able to come out with no issues? How many of you lost friends and family by coming out? I know for me, when I was outed my parents were very upset, but in time came to terms with it.
When my daughter came out to me as bisexual, I didnt have any problems except for worrying about her safety.
I hope that my nephew will have no problems but I can think of some family members that arent going to be supportive of him. Unfortunately....
When my daughter came out to me as bisexual, I didnt have any problems except for worrying about her safety.
I hope that my nephew will have no problems but I can think of some family members that arent going to be supportive of him. Unfortunately....
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by GreeningSoul on
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The only person that gave me problems was my holy-roller cousin, who found out 6 mos. later that her husband of 4 years was having a secret homosexual affair! Talk about karma... but I did feel really bad for her when that happened...
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Permalink Reply by Silvio on
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Hi Sister Aine! I think to come out is a process of a whole life! But the first time we come out is very scary, to face the family mainly. It's a passage rite to gay/lesbian people. It's easyer to come out to the people outside, because we don't care about their thoughts and feelings about us, but to came out to our parents is such a challenge! We care about their opinion, we don't want to disappoint them. But we are always coming out, as gays/lesbians or pagans/witches, don't matter. We are learning about the differences, but all we need is to accept ourselves the way we are to accept other then! Hope your nephew can have all support he needs to face his truth. Blesses to him and to you sister! )O(
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Permalink Reply by Jim on
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I came out when I was 28. Most of my family suspected, my friends went through a "no wonder" phase or a "I always thought so. Do you have a boyfriend?" phase. My dad is kinda a don't ask, don't tell type and we don't talk about it much, but we still get along fine. The only tough spot is when I want to have friends and family in the same place, at the same time. The parents freak, most everyone else has "someplace else to be".
Work, people either don't know, know but don't treat me any different, or make jokes and laugh with me at them. All in all, it has been a good experience. -
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Permalink Reply by Kodi Jimenez on
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I made a stupid mistake when I came out. That very day I moved out of my house (henceforth known as mistake number1) and moved in with my girlfriend. My family has hated me since. I am no longer allowed to talk to anyone in my family except my mom. And I'm no longer with my girlfriend, I moved out and haven't heard much from her. However I still love her. She was and still is my best friend and the only regret I have is that my family didn't take it as well as I thought they could have.
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Permalink Reply by danino on
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its a problem as we can see now buildings are getting higher but not most people's understandings and roads are widing and minds are narrowed.... here in the Philippines living as gay is so hard thought you have to show that you are strong and dont give a damn of what they says, sometimes it makes me feel like a wanna sit in a corner and cry praying to the Goddess one day that people will not be descriminating/.....
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Permalink Reply by Tammy Sweet on
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I am afraid to, but telling any one scares me so much that I get light headed and have to sit down so I wont fall. Is it wrong to want to be with another girl who dosent know you want them. Some times at night I close my eyes and think of another girl holding me tight in her arms, to feel her breath on my neck controling my every move.
just knowing I cant have that makes me cry my self to sleep. Some times I wonder If its all worth it. I have dreams and desiers that I will never express to some one in person. For me thats the way it has to be. Some times I sit alone with nothing more than a pillow against my body pertending its her or any girl who will love me, is that wrong? Some one please help me. -
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Sometimes you just have to take a chance in life. Don't be so afraid, take a walk on the wild side for a bit and see if it suits you. Don't be afraid to have someone love you, or to love someone else. All you have to do is be strong and try different things, see what interests you, and go from there. That's what I did, and it's gotten me pretty far and pretty happy so far! Just take a page from my book and risk it. Go for the unknown. Love yourself before you even think about loving another. And I mean fully loving yourself, not just superficially. You have to have a deep-seated love for who you are inside before someone else can see the true beauty lying just underneath it all. Every day when you wake up look in a mirror and say aloud to yourself, "I am beautiful, I love myself, and everyone I encounter today will think the same as I do." Then as you go about your day, envision others seeing you as a beautiful flower standing in front of them that they would love to pick for themselves because they can't stand not having that beauty to hold with them the whole day through.
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I want to take a chance in life but im afraid to alone. And the wild side WOW ive been wanting to for so long that it hurts, and I mean it realy hurts, my body accually hurts from wanting to. The onl;y one I want to love is another woman that knows me so well that we can feel each other even if we arnt in the same room. A lot of things that Im afraid to even say intrest me. Im not sure if I can love my self that much. But I will try the standing in the mirror thing, but only because I some how trust you, which has only happened once, and that hurt so bad that I never got over it.
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Well just feeling the other woman even when separated by distance is the first step in actualizing the love found between the two of you. To love another is a great thing, no matter what you have to go through in order to achieve that. Do not be afraid to be alone, for if you love yourself truly and for eternity then you will be able to love being alone for periods of time. If you have friends, go out and do things with them, don't just sit at home and long for that person. If you think it, it can be done! Don't be afraid to trust, not everyone is out to hurt you, many are just too self-absorbed to realize what they are doing to those they care about. Speak your mind about things that interest you. I will never betray your trust, I'm just not that kind of person. And if you want someone else that is very much like me, you can talk to my lover, known as the Bitch From Hell on this site, she is very understanding and a deeply caring person.
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Im not sure who I want. All I know is that I find myself waking in the middle of the night some times crying for a lover and some times Im so wet I have to wash off in the middle of the knight (is that wrong). I want so much for a lover. I want her to hold me and feel her heart beat in my ear. I want her to take me places and be with just me, I want to feel her hold me and tell me she loves me so much. I want her to take me in the middle of the knight and just hold me tight. Is it wrong to want that so much I would be willing to just have that on line? I know I sound like some deprived girl. If I do than Im sorry
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