How important is it for you to have a relationship (dating or more serious) with someone "neopagan" or "wiccan" etc?

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Permalink Reply by erthgoddss on February 15, 2009 at 7:25am

Personally I can't see myself in any relationship with someone who is at least not open to Paganism. I would never date a Christian... but that is just because I am pretty stubborn and alway ready for a good theological debate... which often causes hurt feelings. As far as casting a love spell... IMO it is not in the best interest of anyone... unless you are already in said relationship and using it to increase the bond.

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Permalink Reply by hairycatepillar on February 15, 2009 at 2:49pm

its hard enough finding friends with similar beliefs. finding a partner in the same mould would take so long we'd be too old to have fun! someone open and understanding is a must, but that goes for everything not just spiritual beliefs surely? if you loved golf and your partner hated it and hated you doing it then how long is your relationship going to last? if you love nature worship (to put it crudely) and your partner won't let you out into the woods you're in for a hard time! since we're supposed to ask permission before using magik isn't casting a love spell to ensure success edging towards compulsion a little too closely?

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Permalink Reply by Jinkn Sandlehept on February 15, 2009 at 4:37pm

I've been practicing Wicca for 8 years now and my divorce from my christain x-wife was final last year. in my situation it was one of the breaking points of the marriage. there were more points but that was a major one. she didn't respect my choice to leave christianity and enter Paganism. that tore me apart. i vowed never to be with some one that wasn't of the same mind as me. if any fellow Pagans out there have a christain partner that is accepting of them (honestly and truly) they are blessed. if that is the case, that also tells me that they aren't devout christains. just saying my mind. i'm all for everyone to find their happiness. i'm finding mine. i'm with a very lovely pagan woman right now and i would have it no other way. i told myself that i would never be involved in a relationship with another christain. it left a very bitter taste in my mouth. i was treated bad and didn't deserve it. the lack of respect and tolerance and acceptance just wasn't there. it hurt me more than words can describe. i'm happy with who i am and i'm happy i'm with some one now that supports me (and follows the same path). i am a blessed man and i thank Goddess everyday for that.

Bright Blessings to all,

Jinkn :o)

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Permalink Reply by silverphoenixwillow on February 15, 2009 at 5:12pm

will me personally i think it does not matter, as long as the person you are with accepts your path,,,,
my sweety is not a religious person,,,,with christain background,,,,he was a little concerned at first, but now that he understands my path , hes ok with it.....
now on another note,,, it would be nice to have a partner that was invovled in your spirituality....for like sex magick,, the great rite,, ect,,,,,and was there in your journey,,,, but sometimes this just is not the case..... would i prefer my partner to be neo-pagan of course,,, but i'm not out to change him, or make him believe in my path as his,,,,,,,just as he is not out to change mine to suit him,,,,,,
no he is not a devoted christain,,,, but you know i do know a jewish man i dated before i met my beloved that had a really hard time excepting my faith,,,,,,he wouldn't even let me around his kids,,,, as he said,, that he has the option, but his kids aren't going to be around a witch, and know of that style,,, needless to say it didn't work.......
most of my family and friends are devoted christains,, and they still except me,, as i am,,,,,,,
i don't think its the devoted christain,, but the extreme fundie christains that can not accept another faith,,but then they don't accept no faith that does not believe that jesus was the son of god..... i even know jehovah witnesses that are ok with who i am.............
oh i must add my bf and i have been togeather 7 years

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Permalink Reply by jaymacfee ~ WhiteBear on February 15, 2009 at 7:15pm

I feel that following a Pagan path would be very important, though not strictly a necessity, for someone to be a part of my life. Not that I would not date someone for that reason, but that those who follow most mainstream religions would not be able to accept what I am without trying to change me. I am not one who pushes my belief on others, but I will not change them just to please someone else. My beliefs are very much a part of who I am, not merely something I do.

I have been fortunate. I found someone who believes as I do. I was never comfortable seeing someone who was a Christian. Their beliefs and teachings would force them to try to "bring me to Jesus". I have been there, done that. It is uncomfortable at best, since I would not change my beliefs or embrace theirs. The same applies to Muslims, they are equally as dogmatic. If my partner had been Buddhist, or Shinto, it would have been easier. I don't believe that many other religions are going to be open minded enough to live together with. Any religion that utilizes the concept of "sin" is going to cause difficulty at some point. Relationships are difficult enough with out adding additional stresses.

Magick has changed the relationship I am in now. Mostly because both of us are using it for the joining of our selves and our spirits, not to change anything. We are able to be close even when physically miles apart. But ours is a very unique situation.

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Permalink Reply by terry on February 15, 2009 at 7:38pm

Well, I have been a practacing witch for about12years, I have always been open aout it, I just never had the urge to hide who I was, I was also brought up roman catholic, so in turn some of my very first romantic experiences were also of that faith, but I just never felt comfortable enough to speak to them about my opinions of the world or of my life, so the relationships suffered, and sooner or later they were over. I am now married to an eclectic individual 8years, I have been open about my faith since we met and he has never judged or questioned me about it, he says that for him its great, he thinks that it makes me a better person and that i always bring the best out of him. He sees me practice, he joins in once in a while, and I have used spells within my relationship, but only to reinforce whats already there, to help bring good energy and tranquility. Overall I think it shouldnt matter what faith your loved one claims, if he or she loves you then they will be alright with it and overall respectfull of it. I would suggest that if anyone is having trouble within your relationship because of your different faiths, well then talk it over, theres nothing wrong with a little magick, love is magick afterall right!

Terry

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Permalink Reply by Starphish on February 15, 2009 at 10:36pm

for dating, i would probably be able to go out with anyone, but for a serious relationship it would have to be someone pagan. i agree with erthgoddss, i wouldn't be able to marry a cristian, they're too crazy. my last girlfriend was a serious cristian, and she was nuts... tried to convert me. but thats just my opinion.

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Permalink Reply by Raven Goldenseal on February 16, 2009 at 7:13am

Dating someone who was Pagan was very important to me. I actually met my wife on Witchvox with the express intent on finding a relationship, and believe it or not, so was she. She is my soulmate and I can't concieive not having her in my life now that i've found her. I was in a relationship for 7 years with a woman before I met her. She was Southern Baptist, but paranormally sensitive in addition to being an empath, so she was open to other ways of belief as far as religion is concerned, but I think it still kept us from fully enjoying a meaningful relationship. To me, my other half being Pagan is essential!!!

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Permalink Reply by Rebecca (Community Moderator) on February 16, 2009 at 3:42pm

Thanks for being the first person to reply, Donna! And congrats on 30 years - wow, not many have traveled that far in years with another... I find having good friends with varying religious or spiritual backgrounds enhances my life too...

Donna said:

My Spirituality and spiritual beliefs are very important to me, so I would prefer to be with someone with compatible beliefs. Luckily, I am. I embraced the Earth Religions and their practices three or four years before I met my husband. He has always shown interest in my beliefs and practices but isn't influenced by them or judgmental of them in any way. His beliefs defy labeling.. We've been together for 30 years and religion has never been an issue between us.
I did use magik while the relationship was developing in order to enhance the positive and improve the negative. I used spells but wouldn't want to say what in a public forum.
When I was Christian it didn't matter to me at all what religious beliefs a partner had. Now, knowing what I know from having had relationships with Christians, I am certain I would never consider dating anyone of that faith again. I do, however, have Christian friends. I found my relationships with Athiest to be very interesting and intellectually stimulating.

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Permalink Reply by Eternity on February 17, 2009 at 5:16am

I believe it is very important for two people whom are in a relationship to share certain aspects of their lives being a couple. Spirituality as an example I have been in relationships where my partner was not pagan or wiccan it is very hard to share anything with someone whom does not take you or your path serious. Problems like making fun or putting down one or the others path has come up more than once or twice for me.

I have even had to go as far as hide what I really am in order to get along with others. I have had people ask me when I am to meet the parents to not speak about religion and if asked say I am something else. Well needless to say those relationships never went any where. Everything changed when I met Bryan he follows a shamanic path and he unlike others insisted I be myself. Acceptance and understanding has always been so important to me as I have never had any such with my family whom follow Christian based beliefs.

It is such a good feeling to be able to share with your partner, to learn and grow from each other, just to be able to relax and be who you are with the one you love is just amazing for me. So to answer the question No it has not benefited me to date someone outside of my path. We have never used love spells on each other either. When it comes to magic he and I can work together or we can work alone, most times if something is as important to me that I need to do a ritual or spell ect he will help out.

Now about love spells I have never used a love spell on anyone ever I was witness to someone whom did and it went very badly and I made my mind up right there I would never do that. That is just me though I am not the kind of individual that needs to do that all the time. I believe if I can handle something myself I should. For myself and my partner we can find magic in so many places it is all around us everyday and yes I do understand the degrees of magic. I knew from the time I was three years old and my father scolded me for telling him his dreams I was not your average person. Thats when my education began.

Now that I am involved with a like minded individual our relationship has been the best I have ever had, Just being able to talk about anything and be myself for once in my life it is wonderful. There is nothing worse than being misunderstood this I know.

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Permalink Reply by The Gate 2 Guy on February 17, 2009 at 3:55pm

I don't think that religion plays a role in relationships, but it can be a defining factor at times. I'm currently stationed overseas in Japan as a Marine, and Wiccanism has just recently been seen as a official religion in the military. Its hard to find someone in this day and age, especially being stationed in a different country. I grew up Christian, but converted to Wiccan about 8 or 9 years ago. Since then, it has been a whirlwind for anything relationship-wise. I've dated different people with different religions, but religion wasn't necessary. All that was necessary was how we felt for each other. I'm not saying that it wouldn't have been a problem down the road, but at that time, all that mattered was how we felt for each other. So I don't think that religion is important, but it can be helpful.

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Permalink Reply by Floyda Lynch on February 17, 2009 at 4:27pm

I don't know if i could ever date someone who was neopagan or wiccan...but i sure could hang out with them and be really good friends with them.

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